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How to co-parent after divorce

The Dentist's Divorce: A Real Life "How To" Co-parent Story

    

This week it's over easy sits down with recent divorcee Dr. Lorene Boisvert. She is a Dentist in Los Angeles specializing in Biomimetic Dentistry both in restorative dentistry and implant restorations. In this interview Dr. Boisvert shares her strategy for achieving work/life balance while juggling career, motherhood and co-parenting with her ex-husband.

ioe: When did your divorce become final?

DrLB: I got divorced a few months ago; the whole process basically took 2 years after we separated, first to accept the separation itself and then to actually get the paperwork done. The process was at times very stressful and very difficult to go through, and we did it in an amicable way.

As much as I knew that this separation was necessary and my marriage wasn’t savable, I was afraid of getting divorced. It was painful to both of us, and I tried hard to keep everybody in line so that we could still function as a family. My kids, my work and my own goals helped me tremendously throughout this whole difficult period. By focusing on my own personal needs and, driven by the fact that I wanted to protect my kids and their well-being, I was able to keep my sanity.

Relationships don’t always last all life long like most people want to believe and we can sometimes get stuck in marriage; our commitment can become a source of unhappiness, deep suffering and lack of self development. Divorce is here to help us deliver ourselves from what could have become some kind of a prison, and it is very liberating when it’s over!

Now I can say that it was an enriching experience that made me realize who I really am and what I truly need. I see my divorce as a second chance in my life to feel fulfilled and hopefully deeply happy!

ioe: How did you become a dentist in Los Angeles?

DrLB: Originally trained in France, I learned English and took all 4 dental boards to become a licensed dentist in California; I originally set my practice up in Santa Monica, then moved to Westwood a couple of years ago.

ioe: What are some of the ways a smile can help a divorcee's self esteem?

DrLB: I would say that all kinds of cosmetic dental treatments has a powerful positive impact on anyone who is going through a divorce: bleaching teeth, getting teeth straightened by doing veneers and/or orthodontic treatment. Any kind of improvement helps boost a divorcee's self esteem.

As an example, I have a patient who is going through a rather challenging divorce and she decided to do Invisalign to "distract her" from thinking about her ex. This kind of orthodontic treatment takes time and over the months she could see her teeth moving into the direction of the smile of her dreams; it had a powerful impact on her well being, which helped her tremendously throughout her divorce process. By the time her divorce was over she had all of teeth straightened and whitened, and she felt ready for her new post-divorce life! 

ioe: How has your own divorce impacted your dental practice in Los Angeles?

DrLB: Knowing that I would now be on my own, I needed to develop my practice tremendously to be able to make a living from it. I adjusted my schedule to make myself more available to my patients; I opened my practice at odd hours that would be convenient to my patients, as I wanted to pick up my kids everyday at 3 pm from school and spend time with them. Getting divorced also gave me the strength to go to high level continuing education training hone my expertise in the fields I am particularly interested in, like implant dentistry, cosmetics and more in-depth biomimetic training (a type of tooth conserving dentistry). This inner motivation guided me to find the confidence to reach toward these goals. I am still actively working on all of it so that my practice can continue to grow; my goal is to eventually welcome another highly trained dentist to share my practice with me.

ioe: What are some of the things you can share with other working mothers about juggling work and parenthood post-divorce?

DrLB: First of all, I always keep my kids as my highest priority; I am there for them every day at pick up after school and it's important for them. I am lucky to have been able to adjust my schedule so that I could be with them, and when they go to their father's I make myself more available to my patients. I have shared custody and I enjoy every moment with them even more, as it is more limited. We basically always spend quality time together.

Dr. Lorene Boisvert practices Biomimetics both in restorative dentistry and implant restorations. She uses a special system that mimics the nature of the bone and tooth structure. With more than 15 years of experience as a general dentist and excellent training with the most distinguished clinicians in Los Angeles, Dr. Boisvert caters to your personal dental needs and you can contact her via The Index.

 

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