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5 Reasons You Need to Stop Stressing About Managing Your Own Divorce

    

It’s been on your to-do list for months: file for divorce. You’re ready to move on, ready to begin a new chapter, ready to be done with it. It’s such a simple to-do list item, but beneath it lurks a bevy of other tasks you’re worried about--calling the lawyer, meeting with the accountant, paying a giant lawyer retainer, showing up to court, hiring a child custody expert, taking time off work for court. This list can feel intractable. If you're managing your own divorce, splitting up can feel like a full time job. You don’t have to live like this. Here’s why it’s time to stop stressing.

Your Divorce is What You Make It

When you file for divorce, you have a powerful choice that will direct the direction of the next few months (and possibly years) of your life. You can go the traditional route. You can hire a lawyer, refuse to cooperate, shell out tons of money, and hope for the best. Or you can try a different approach. You can work with your ex to decide on the details, then file the paperwork yourself. It’s cheaper. It’s faster. It’s better for everyone.

You might not have been able to make your marriage work. But you can make your divorce work. Fighting about what went wrong in your marriage won’t make it better. Neither will winning a few small victories in court. You both deserve to move on. So find a way to work together.

Affordable Support is Out There

A do-it-yourself divorce doesn’t have to mean you’re flying blind. With it’s over easy, your uncontested divorce also comes with expert support. We offer state-specific support calculators, a parenting schedule manager, and with our Pro and Premium memberships, a consultation with a family law attorney. It’s the best of both worlds: low stress and few expenses, but with the help of divorce experts.

A Fight to the Death Isn’t the Only Option

Many people mistakenly believe that they have to go to court and fight it out if they can’t immediately agree on everything. Here’s the problem: the legal process tends to magnify even small disputes. When you talk through lawyers, you’re not talking to each other. When you hire an expert to say your ex is an unfit parent, you’ve committed an act of war.

If you work together, communicate, learn about the process, and establish reasonable expectations, you can probably work through your disputes. And there’s a significant incentive to do so: working together can save you tens of thousands of dollars. You don’t have to fight to the death.

You Should Devote Your Resources to Rebuilding--Not Tearing Down

The average contested divorce costs between $15,000-$30,000. Do you really want to spend your hard-earned cash tearing down your marriage instead of rebuilding your life? A wide range of resources can help you turn life after divorce into something grand. There are support groups, skilled therapists, life coaches, and other experts who can help. If you want to turn the page to a new chapter, you might want to spend your money on a college degree, continuing education classes, or a healing retreat.

You might be angry. You might want to get every red cent you can out of your ex or your marriage. In the end, you have to rebuild. Why not agree to cooperate with your ex, so you can both move on with your psyches and your finances intact?

Your New Life Can Begin Now

A contested divorce can take years. It’s a long-term management project, with you serving as the general contractor overseeing lawyers, accountants, and a stream of experts. Do you really want to sign up for a costly unpaid second job? An uncontested divorce allows you to begin your new life now--not at some distant future point after you’ve drained your bank account fighting with your ex over another day of visitation with the kids or who gets to keep the China.

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