While going through a divorce, parents should stop and think of what things must look like from their child’s point of view.
Not only will this give the parents a whole new perspective on things, but it will also help them to minimize the fighting at home.
The damage done on a child (while they witness their parents divorcing) can be devastating, and can also stay with them throughout their entire lives. Even if you elect for an online divorce or a divorce recourse, which often minimizes the arguments and discord, there will still be tense moments and in-person fighting.
In fact, many children who witness their parents fighting or lying to each other, will have trust issues for a very long time, unless they start seeing a therapist.
Traveling Between Parents During a Divorce
Something that children see quite differently from their parents during a divorce is the traveling from one parent to the other on weekdays/weekends. Many children do this so that they don’t upset their parents, however, some children may prefer to spend longer stretches of time at one home. This is of course because traveling back and forth is difficult, and it also gets in the way of spending time with friends and getting accustomed to one home.
Child Custody Schedule Options
Creating a custody calendar that does not significantly disrupt a child's weekly schedule can help to alleviate the stress that accompanies divorce. There are options that parents have when creating custody schedules that are specifically geared towards making the adjustment from one parent's home to the others easier. For example, these alternatives could place children on a 2-2-5 schedule, wherein after 4 days of alternating parents, the child gets a 5 day stretch of time with one parent.
Divorces wherein parents can reach mutual agreement on child custody tend to have more favorable custody arrangements. Online divorces allow couples to create a variety of favorable child custody schedules, since online divorces are ideally for couples that can reach an agreement without the need of the court.
Your child’s needs should come first when deciding on a custody schedule with your spouse, and due to the “battle” going on between you and your ex-spouse, this can sometimes be an issue. Though you may want to see them as much as possible, creating a child custody schedule that allows your child to maintain a sense of stability is most important.
It is always important to truly know what your child wants, and most importantly, trying to see things from their point of view.
It is highly recommended that you and your ex work as a team throughout your divorce (even if you are separated), as opposed to enemies. This may be hard to do, however, it is the best thing to do for your child and should help reduce the levels of stress significantly. Online divorce is one method to achieve mutual agreement on all aspects of divorce, including child custody.